I suppose you're wondering what happened to Day 1. Well, I am actually wondering the same thing. My pathetic attempt at cold turkey coffee quitin' put my day on a frazzled spin in every direction possible.
One thing is for sure--I didn't succeed at it. I gave in to my addiction at 2:30 when I just couldn't take it any longer. I tried, really I did. I think true addicts have to be weened off their crack so I will make that attempt instead of going cold turkey. I'm such a pansy.
My Cofffee Addiction
Today I realized that my coffee addiction is out of control when I bit someones head off for even mentioning my addiction. Granted, I hadn't had my first pot yet, but still. So I've decided to quit cold turkey. Man, I feel sorry for the poor souls that have to work with me during this time--but ohh well. :-)
There are a few other things that led me to this conclusion that I didn't want to mention but I figure it's necessary in order to appropriately document any improvements--if I make it that far.
Okay here goes:
-I dab coffee on my wrists to smell great all day
-I don't sweat, I percolate
-I sleep with my eyes open
-I have to watch movies in fast-forward
-I can take a picture of myself from ten feet away without using the timer
-My eyes stay open when I sneeze
-I find myself wanting to chew on other peoples fingernails
I figure my caffeine fits will be blog worthy so stayed tuned for my Cold Turkey Coffee Quitin' updates. I'm going to have my last cup though--gonna make it a Starbucks double latte. Yay! :-)
Day 1 starts tomorrow! Ciao~
There are a few other things that led me to this conclusion that I didn't want to mention but I figure it's necessary in order to appropriately document any improvements--if I make it that far.
Okay here goes:
-I dab coffee on my wrists to smell great all day
-I don't sweat, I percolate
-I sleep with my eyes open
-I have to watch movies in fast-forward
-I can take a picture of myself from ten feet away without using the timer
-My eyes stay open when I sneeze
-I find myself wanting to chew on other peoples fingernails
I figure my caffeine fits will be blog worthy so stayed tuned for my Cold Turkey Coffee Quitin' updates. I'm going to have my last cup though--gonna make it a Starbucks double latte. Yay! :-)
Day 1 starts tomorrow! Ciao~
RIP--Nose Picker!
Okay Okay, so everyone pretty much "nose" I'm a MJ lover and I'll pretty much stick up for the man where ever it's due. But that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the obvious freakishness he portrayed during the last decade of his life. Yep, he looked and acted like a wacko and still diligently claimed that he never had a nose job. Heh, that's one of the reasons I liked him. Yet through all of his unconvincing lies and wackiness we still remained loyal in keeping him on the front page of our celebrity gossip mags. Let's face it, we love the drama!I'm a little concerned however for the paparazzi and media at this point. What ever will they gossip about now that MJ is dead?? It's almost a joke on the media of how they are hanging on to every last drop of gossip they can squeeze out of his name. What ever will they put pictures of on their front pages beside all those celebrity bikini flab pics? I think MJ's death is going to be the downfall of all gossip magazines. What other celebrity has consistently given us this much to gossip about? I mean comon'--didn't his mama ever teach him NOT to pick his nose? Although I do take pleasure in the jokes as in the picture above, I am without a doubt going to miss the wacky, yet amazing crotch-grabbin' fella. RIP MJ--and yes, you may be dead but you can rest assured knowing that the gossip about your nose and potato-head characteristics shall never die.
Now, who's life should we gossip about and ruin next? Did you hear about Britney Spears' 3rd boob job? OMG...
The New Revolution
It is shockingly sad that this world has become one in which conformity is a method of survival. We have to conform to keep our jobs, conform to be accepted culturally and socially, and conform to the corrupt and absurd laws we have been given in order to remain "free" in our country. Today, most of us have either lost our ability or never learned the ability to think independently and to question everything we are told in search of the facts. For example, if our President tells us "All Asians are bad people", we are obviously going to question his sanity, logic and reasoning. However, if our education systems that operate under the control of the government use textbooks with history that gradually indicate negative feedback on Asians; over time our children and future generations will grow up conforming to the idea that Asians are bad people. No matter what the motive or message is, it all stems from the governments desire of conformity to create less resistance to their policies and thus having more control over the people--it happens more than you might think.
When we are young, we're taught that everything the authoritative adult says is fact and we're taught that there is no need to question the source of the source as long as it's an "official" source. The problem is that for something to be "official" means that it is authorized by government authority and with all due respect, that means nothing. That is why it is up to us to question the news, our history, our leaders, and the same concept should be applied to religion and following our parents beliefs. Of course it's human nature to trust that your parents know best in respects to spirituality and even political stances but it's highly possibly that their beliefs are corrupted by generations of the same conforming education and social treatment from our society.
As adults, it is up to us to question what we've been told since we were children. It's up to us to study, research, and critique our knowledge and source of knowledge to determine the truth, subjectively. It's time to re-analyze your perspective on life, determine your own beliefs, and this time, analyze it from an open frame of mind leaving out the years of crap that has been injected into your mind since early childhood. You'll find yourself seeing life through a different light and having strong convictions for what you believe in as our ancestors did generations ago-- and that's a rarity to have these days.
It's time stop being lazy, dumbed-down citizens that sit back and allow the government take complete control over our country. Individualism and freedom are natural rights we were all born with and we are being robbed of them daily by our government. 54% of Americans strongly disagree with the direction we are headed in this country and I hate to say it but those that only silently disagree on polls aren't helping the problem. It's our duty as American citizens to speak out loud and let your opinions be known--join the TEA Parties and the protests. I don't care if you're pro-life, pro-choice or whatever the cause may be, but do it because it's your right and because you may not have the freedom to do it much longer.
Our constitution is written so that the power of the government is derived by the consent of the governed and that means they work for us, by us, not forcibly so the other way around. If things continue to move in this direction without the consent of the governed, I truly believe and hope there will be a revolution within the next few years to conserve our constitution and reform our government. In other words--Power to the People baby! ;-)
When we are young, we're taught that everything the authoritative adult says is fact and we're taught that there is no need to question the source of the source as long as it's an "official" source. The problem is that for something to be "official" means that it is authorized by government authority and with all due respect, that means nothing. That is why it is up to us to question the news, our history, our leaders, and the same concept should be applied to religion and following our parents beliefs. Of course it's human nature to trust that your parents know best in respects to spirituality and even political stances but it's highly possibly that their beliefs are corrupted by generations of the same conforming education and social treatment from our society.
As adults, it is up to us to question what we've been told since we were children. It's up to us to study, research, and critique our knowledge and source of knowledge to determine the truth, subjectively. It's time to re-analyze your perspective on life, determine your own beliefs, and this time, analyze it from an open frame of mind leaving out the years of crap that has been injected into your mind since early childhood. You'll find yourself seeing life through a different light and having strong convictions for what you believe in as our ancestors did generations ago-- and that's a rarity to have these days.
It's time stop being lazy, dumbed-down citizens that sit back and allow the government take complete control over our country. Individualism and freedom are natural rights we were all born with and we are being robbed of them daily by our government. 54% of Americans strongly disagree with the direction we are headed in this country and I hate to say it but those that only silently disagree on polls aren't helping the problem. It's our duty as American citizens to speak out loud and let your opinions be known--join the TEA Parties and the protests. I don't care if you're pro-life, pro-choice or whatever the cause may be, but do it because it's your right and because you may not have the freedom to do it much longer.
Our constitution is written so that the power of the government is derived by the consent of the governed and that means they work for us, by us, not forcibly so the other way around. If things continue to move in this direction without the consent of the governed, I truly believe and hope there will be a revolution within the next few years to conserve our constitution and reform our government. In other words--Power to the People baby! ;-)
Ima Surviva!
NEVER, EVER, EVER come between a pregnant chick and her jumbo fudge-dipped ice cream cone. I'm tellin' you, I almost got my face clawed off for taking this picture. I just had to post this picture as I am one of the only survivors with proof that I lived through it. As you can see, she has only had her first bite of this choco-dipped ice cream cone--yep she's had her taste and now she's going in for the kill. This was prime chow time and I was pure interference at this moment.
I STILL can't believe I made it out alive.
The O-Face
O-faces are probably one of my favorite things about sex . I have literally taken a mental snapshot of all the o-faces i've seen in my lifetime along with a mental note of each particular O-moan. Okay okay i know it sounds bad, but let's be honest here--no one is perfect, everyone screws up, and I keep up with O-faces when I do. :-)
In particular the funniest one I have seen yet sounded like I stepped on a squeeling rat combined with a double chin smile with frownie eyebrows. Yeah, poor guy...he didn't make the cut as you can probably guess.
Here are some interesting (not so attractive) ones...
O-Faces
1.) Double-Chin/Smile/Frownie eyebrows O-Face - Completely unattractive - no, no, and no.
2.) The "Stunned" O-Face - Please don't stroke out on me, dude.
3.) The "Big Grin" O-Face - Should I get my camera?
4.) The "I'm sooo Serious" O-Face - Hmm, oh really?
5.) The "I'll kill you bitch" O-Face - We're shootin' for sexy, not the grammy awards, psycho.
O-moans
1.) "Squeely Rat" - Completely Unattractive and you can guess why.
2.) "Train Horn" - let's be honest, I've got neighbors that go to my church...
3.) "Jackass" - Okay, some girls like guys to act like jackasses but show me just one who wants their guy to sound like one. No thank you.
4.) "sputtered car engine" - Why, Why, Why do guys do this one?
5.) "deadly silence" - it's common with the virgins...but completely unacceptable from anyone else.
Remembering the G-Spot
Last night was a blurr at the g-spot. It's weird how this picture came out blurry too. I thought maybe I could re-live the night through my phone pics to see if anything would trigger some sort of clarity. Evidently, my phone had too much to drink too. All my pics came out just like this one and some of them even needed some censoring. I guess a two hour 99 cent jagerbomb special makes for a blurry night and a painful guilt trip in the morning. See the blurry dart board behind us? Well it looks very familiar and that's pretty much all i recognize in that picture. Oh well, I guess it's not really important what happened there. It's not like I can remember anything while sober anyway.
He stole my dance moves!
LOL...j/k. Meet Richard-- an ol' buddy of 10 years and a good wingman. Richard takes Wii bowling very seriously as you can see. He even has the back leg twist thingie down in hopes that the wii censors will give him a few extra points for effort. Even when he's not trying he's always making me laugh till my tummy hurts. I don't care what they say--there's nothing more entertaining to me than someone who's not afraid to cut loose and let it all hang out. Good form, Richard! :-)
Gotta love this guy...
Silence! I Keel You!
I love Jeff Dunham! Isn't he just the cutest man you've ever seen? Silence! I keeel you!
Obama Trauma
Sheesh, what did we get ourselves into, America? Uh-hem--excuse me, I meant to say "what did all these damn democrat and liberal voters get us into, America?" That's right! I said it. Even the loyal Obama drones are starting to say "what the hell?!" at this point. The stats of Obamas "passion index" are down by 5 points today which is a big drop from his previous -2.
I guess it's safe to say Obama is like a rock. Not as in "Solid as a..." but "Dropping like a..." Yep, I could say I told you so but honestly, it doesn't really matter at this point. I don't want to be able to say that about someone with so much power over my country's freedoms and future. I really hope Palin steps back up and runs for president in 2012! Love that chick...
Okay, Okay, I'm off my soap box. :)
I guess it's safe to say Obama is like a rock. Not as in "Solid as a..." but "Dropping like a..." Yep, I could say I told you so but honestly, it doesn't really matter at this point. I don't want to be able to say that about someone with so much power over my country's freedoms and future. I really hope Palin steps back up and runs for president in 2012! Love that chick...
Okay, Okay, I'm off my soap box. :)
Falling off the wagon
Blogger was my first love when it comes to the Social media Bandwagon. Then came along Myspace, youtube, googlegroups, yahoo 360, skype, facebook, flickr, twitter, etc. It's pure madness I tell you! Everytime a new one is introduced, I log-on and enthusiastically create an account and search for all my old high school friends (again), post all my pictures, and then never log into it again. Friends, I think I have fallen off the Social media Bandwagon and I don't think I want back on. I tried, really I did, but I think I'm going to stick to blogger and myspace for now and just save all the rest for the teenyboppers. :)
The Next Generation
Remember when we were teenagers and anything we could do to rebel from our parents was the biggest thrill ever? Well it was for me anyway and I miss those days. Our thrills were actually pretty innocent back then, like toilet papering houses, passing notes in class and in church, sneaking out with the neighborhood kids, and putting makeup on the boys when they fell asleep--that sort of thing.
I went to my family reunion this weekend at Lake Buchanan and it really brought back a lot of memories of my teenage years. The last time we had one was 15 years ago when my cousins, my sisters, and I were all crazy kids looking for excitement. There were about 15 of us that were teenagers at the same time back then and you can image the fun we had and trouble we got into for waking the babies with our loud "boom boxes" playing Ice Ice Baby from the roof.
This reunion was a bit sad because our teenage generation is all grown up. The cousins we had so much fun with back then are now consumed with babies, families, and jobs. The conversations we have are now politically correct and it's almost like the world took over my cousins and changed them forever. We no longer talk about what we want to be when we grow up or make fun of the weird aunts and uncles we have. We talk about politics, divorces, babies, and the jobs we have that are nothing close to the childhood dream jobs we once aspired for...it's weird how life happens and things change isn't it?
I did notice the new teenage generation that was there. There were about 7 of them and they were the annoying screaming babies that I remember 15 years ago. They are total punks now might I add! There is something different about this generation of teens though. Their idea of a good time is sex and drugs. I don't know why teens have changed so much in the past 15 years but the severity of it makes me wonder what the future holds for generations to come.
I blame Obama and I'll think of a reason later... ;)
I went to my family reunion this weekend at Lake Buchanan and it really brought back a lot of memories of my teenage years. The last time we had one was 15 years ago when my cousins, my sisters, and I were all crazy kids looking for excitement. There were about 15 of us that were teenagers at the same time back then and you can image the fun we had and trouble we got into for waking the babies with our loud "boom boxes" playing Ice Ice Baby from the roof.
This reunion was a bit sad because our teenage generation is all grown up. The cousins we had so much fun with back then are now consumed with babies, families, and jobs. The conversations we have are now politically correct and it's almost like the world took over my cousins and changed them forever. We no longer talk about what we want to be when we grow up or make fun of the weird aunts and uncles we have. We talk about politics, divorces, babies, and the jobs we have that are nothing close to the childhood dream jobs we once aspired for...it's weird how life happens and things change isn't it?
I did notice the new teenage generation that was there. There were about 7 of them and they were the annoying screaming babies that I remember 15 years ago. They are total punks now might I add! There is something different about this generation of teens though. Their idea of a good time is sex and drugs. I don't know why teens have changed so much in the past 15 years but the severity of it makes me wonder what the future holds for generations to come.
I blame Obama and I'll think of a reason later... ;)
Stamina
Excuse me sir, have you lost your stamina? That's what I want to say to the current man of the month. All he ever wants to do is stay home and watch tv, cook, and eat. I don't mean to be vein, but comon' mister! I don't mind staying home sometimes but I also like to be active and go do things. It drives me nuts to just sit on the couch all day long doing nothing.
I think I realized this was a problem the day I brought my Nintendo Wii over to his house. The wii is designed to get people off their bums in a fun way so i figured it would be the perfect solution to the problem since we wouldn't have to "go anywhere" to do it. Do you want to know what he asked me?? "Is it possible to just play that game sitting right here on the couch?" Okay, that is the final straw. I think it's time for me to move on. Besides, his monthly subscription to Tracie is almost up anyway.
I think I realized this was a problem the day I brought my Nintendo Wii over to his house. The wii is designed to get people off their bums in a fun way so i figured it would be the perfect solution to the problem since we wouldn't have to "go anywhere" to do it. Do you want to know what he asked me?? "Is it possible to just play that game sitting right here on the couch?" Okay, that is the final straw. I think it's time for me to move on. Besides, his monthly subscription to Tracie is almost up anyway.
Death of an iphone
FUN FUN! Gonna blog-it like it's 2009...
So, I somehow managed to kill my iphone last night. I thought it would be harder to do but apparently it doesn't have a built-in Tracie immunity just yet (I wonder if there's an app for that?). No really, i gave it the good ol' fashioned electric death sentence. I plugged it into my PC, clicked on my trusty itunes icon and ZZZAP! iphone goes bye bye. I was in a state of shock for about 30 seconds. I tried everything in my power to revive it, I cried mercy for it, and then I gave in and pronounced it dead at 8:47 pm. I even held a moment of silence in remembrance of all the great applications it had and all the fun we had together. There were truly some good times there between us--truly good times. It was so sad...as I nearly cried myself to sleep.
Little did I know, the iphone actually has multiple lives. Don't ask me how many but I'm sure I'll get to the bottom of that number eventually. I woke up this morning to a little ray of light--or phoneshine should I call it. Could it be? Could it actually be?? Did it come back from the dead? Yes indeed--and with some kind of super hero ipowers! Totally awesome. I will never take for granted the Jesus iphone again...
*Muuah*
So, I somehow managed to kill my iphone last night. I thought it would be harder to do but apparently it doesn't have a built-in Tracie immunity just yet (I wonder if there's an app for that?). No really, i gave it the good ol' fashioned electric death sentence. I plugged it into my PC, clicked on my trusty itunes icon and ZZZAP! iphone goes bye bye. I was in a state of shock for about 30 seconds. I tried everything in my power to revive it, I cried mercy for it, and then I gave in and pronounced it dead at 8:47 pm. I even held a moment of silence in remembrance of all the great applications it had and all the fun we had together. There were truly some good times there between us--truly good times. It was so sad...as I nearly cried myself to sleep.
Little did I know, the iphone actually has multiple lives. Don't ask me how many but I'm sure I'll get to the bottom of that number eventually. I woke up this morning to a little ray of light--or phoneshine should I call it. Could it be? Could it actually be?? Did it come back from the dead? Yes indeed--and with some kind of super hero ipowers! Totally awesome. I will never take for granted the Jesus iphone again...
*Muuah*
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