
The Ihop Pineapple Stare-down

Tattoos
Speaking of tattoos--I think i want one on my booty. Just a tiny one somewhere that nobody can see. It can be my little secret! :-) I've been looking for ideas for a while but so far all I can find are fairies with boobs, hearts with boobs, dragons with boobs, and ladybugs with boobs. Obviously men came up with these designs but did they ever consider someone that already has BOOBS would want a tattoo?? Maybe I should get a ladybug with a penis...
Day 2 - No Coffee, No Workee
One thing is for sure--I didn't succeed at it. I gave in to my addiction at 2:30 when I just couldn't take it any longer. I tried, really I did. I think true addicts have to be weened off their crack so I will make that attempt instead of going cold turkey. I'm such a pansy.
My Cofffee Addiction
There are a few other things that led me to this conclusion that I didn't want to mention but I figure it's necessary in order to appropriately document any improvements--if I make it that far.
Okay here goes:
-I dab coffee on my wrists to smell great all day
-I don't sweat, I percolate
-I sleep with my eyes open
-I have to watch movies in fast-forward
-I can take a picture of myself from ten feet away without using the timer
-My eyes stay open when I sneeze
-I find myself wanting to chew on other peoples fingernails
I figure my caffeine fits will be blog worthy so stayed tuned for my Cold Turkey Coffee Quitin' updates. I'm going to have my last cup though--gonna make it a Starbucks double latte. Yay! :-)
Day 1 starts tomorrow! Ciao~
RIP--Nose Picker!
Okay Okay, so everyone pretty much "nose" I'm a MJ lover and I'll pretty much stick up for the man where ever it's due. But that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the obvious freakishness he portrayed during the last decade of his life. Yep, he looked and acted like a wacko and still diligently claimed that he never had a nose job. Heh, that's one of the reasons I liked him. Yet through all of his unconvincing lies and wackiness we still remained loyal in keeping him on the front page of our celebrity gossip mags. Let's face it, we love the drama!I'm a little concerned however for the paparazzi and media at this point. What ever will they gossip about now that MJ is dead?? It's almost a joke on the media of how they are hanging on to every last drop of gossip they can squeeze out of his name. What ever will they put pictures of on their front pages beside all those celebrity bikini flab pics? I think MJ's death is going to be the downfall of all gossip magazines. What other celebrity has consistently given us this much to gossip about? I mean comon'--didn't his mama ever teach him NOT to pick his nose? Although I do take pleasure in the jokes as in the picture above, I am without a doubt going to miss the wacky, yet amazing crotch-grabbin' fella. RIP MJ--and yes, you may be dead but you can rest assured knowing that the gossip about your nose and potato-head characteristics shall never die.
Now, who's life should we gossip about and ruin next? Did you hear about Britney Spears' 3rd boob job? OMG...
The New Revolution
When we are young, we're taught that everything the authoritative adult says is fact and we're taught that there is no need to question the source of the source as long as it's an "official" source. The problem is that for something to be "official" means that it is authorized by government authority and with all due respect, that means nothing. That is why it is up to us to question the news, our history, our leaders, and the same concept should be applied to religion and following our parents beliefs. Of course it's human nature to trust that your parents know best in respects to spirituality and even political stances but it's highly possibly that their beliefs are corrupted by generations of the same conforming education and social treatment from our society.
As adults, it is up to us to question what we've been told since we were children. It's up to us to study, research, and critique our knowledge and source of knowledge to determine the truth, subjectively. It's time to re-analyze your perspective on life, determine your own beliefs, and this time, analyze it from an open frame of mind leaving out the years of crap that has been injected into your mind since early childhood. You'll find yourself seeing life through a different light and having strong convictions for what you believe in as our ancestors did generations ago-- and that's a rarity to have these days.
It's time stop being lazy, dumbed-down citizens that sit back and allow the government take complete control over our country. Individualism and freedom are natural rights we were all born with and we are being robbed of them daily by our government. 54% of Americans strongly disagree with the direction we are headed in this country and I hate to say it but those that only silently disagree on polls aren't helping the problem. It's our duty as American citizens to speak out loud and let your opinions be known--join the TEA Parties and the protests. I don't care if you're pro-life, pro-choice or whatever the cause may be, but do it because it's your right and because you may not have the freedom to do it much longer.
Our constitution is written so that the power of the government is derived by the consent of the governed and that means they work for us, by us, not forcibly so the other way around. If things continue to move in this direction without the consent of the governed, I truly believe and hope there will be a revolution within the next few years to conserve our constitution and reform our government. In other words--Power to the People baby! ;-)
Ima Surviva!
The O-Face
O-Faces
1.) Double-Chin/Smile/Frownie eyebrows O-Face - Completely unattractive - no, no, and no.
2.) The "Stunned" O-Face - Please don't stroke out on me, dude.
3.) The "Big Grin" O-Face - Should I get my camera?
4.) The "I'm sooo Serious" O-Face - Hmm, oh really?
5.) The "I'll kill you bitch" O-Face - We're shootin' for sexy, not the grammy awards, psycho.
O-moans
1.) "Squeely Rat" - Completely Unattractive and you can guess why.
2.) "Train Horn" - let's be honest, I've got neighbors that go to my church...
3.) "Jackass" - Okay, some girls like guys to act like jackasses but show me just one who wants their guy to sound like one. No thank you.
4.) "sputtered car engine" - Why, Why, Why do guys do this one?
5.) "deadly silence" - it's common with the virgins...but completely unacceptable from anyone else.
